The obsession with other people’s bodies

Wicked is a story about empowerment, friendship, and not judging people based on their appearance. It’s somewhat sadly ironic that the two stars of the movie, Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo, are in the spotlight not for their talent or their fabulous witch outfits but because some think they look too thin. Their appearances during the promotional tour for the musical sparked a flood of social media comments scrutinizing their bodies, analyzing their sunken cheeks, slim shoulders, and prominent collarbones.

"I love Ariana, and I don't think people should comment on others' bodies, but there's no way to look at her without thinking she doesn't seem healthy," someone wrote. "Ariana looks very fragile, and not in a good way," another user replied, while a third added, "She's always been small, but now she looks skeletal. Even her hair has thinned a lot." "Honestly, both (Erivo) and Ariana look extremely unwell," concluded a fourth user, summing up the general tone of concern expressed by fans (and non-fans) about the actresses' health. In Italy, a similar situation occurred with Angelina Mango.

Why can’t we stop commenting on celebrities' appearances? Is Ozempic and plastic surgery to blame?

Grande and Erivo are hardly the only celebrities whose health issues have been speculated on solely based on their appearance. In October 2021, Adele said she was "disappointed" by the "brutal conversations" about her weight loss, and in the same month, Jonah Hill urged his Instagram followers to refrain from commenting on his body after his own weight changes. From Mindy Kaling to Lana Del Rey, Adriana Lima to Jemima Kirke, every time we see a public figure looking slimmer, we're quick to cry out Ozempic. Remember when Selena Gomez felt compelled to justify her softer curves, defending herself against relentless criticism accusing her of gaining weight? The same goes for plastic surgery and its excesses. If someone’s body changes, we want to know why. And if we don't know the reason, we fire off random guesses and judgments. We seem unable to hold our tongues or keep our hands off the keyboard, refraining from sharing our thoughts with the world. And it hardly matters if our words hurt.

The habit of talking without knowing: Ariana Grande’s words

"I was on a lot of antidepressants, drinking and eating poorly, and at the lowest point of my life, I looked like what you consider healthy." These are Ariana Grande’s words from a TikTok video a few months ago, urging fans and haters to show more respect, avoid superficial judgments, and stop engaging in body shaming. She reminded everyone that what appears beautiful or healthy doesn’t always reflect reality. In fact, bias and dominant beauty standards often don’t align with physical or mental well-being. A comment, positive or negative, can trigger or reinforce issues like self-esteem problems, dysmorphia, or eating disorders.

Should we always stay silent?

Some argue that they have the right to express their thoughts freely, including stating that a star is too thin or too fat, to prevent others from emulating them under the belief that they represent the beauty standard to achieve at all costs. Silence, they claim, wouldn’t just shield potential imitators but also alert the celebrity in question to a possible problem. Journalist Moya Lothian-McLean expressed this perspective, tweeting: "We live in a warped culture where famous women look violently thin and unwell, but it’s rude to say so." So, what are the rules when it comes to commenting on people’s bodies? Is there room for genuine concern when public figures, especially women, appear extremely thin or unwell? The answer is complicated, but many highlight that this approach rarely proves productive.

Good intentions pave the way to hell

Is it always inappropriate to comment on someone’s appearance? Even when expressing a positive opinion? Experts agree that while positive opinions can sometimes make someone happy, they can also be as harmful as negative ones. Both reinforce the message, even subconsciously, that people’s worth is tied to their bodies and that we must present ourselves a certain way to be deemed acceptable. According to this perspective, we should simply stay silent and keep our thoughts to ourselves. This applies to everyone, famous or not. We should remember that celebrities, too, have to face their reflection in the mirror and, even more, the judgment of others, who are ready to criticize every gained or lost pound, every alleged tweak, with little consideration or sensitivity.

Is there a constructive way to comment on someone’s appearance?

Publicly scrutinizing bodies and faces we find "wrong" achieves nothing but instilling a kind of shame in those targeted. As Maura Gancitano explains in Specchio delle mie brame. La prigione della bellezza: "Our society pushes us toward self-objectification: we view our bodies from an external perspective, becoming our own harshest critics, which affects our choices and actions." Moreover, we vent both online and offline, criticizing those who don’t fit into the standards we often impose on ourselves. And we might add, we vent both online and offline, commenting on those who don’t fit into the standards we often impose on ourselves. In short, while it would be wise to show empathy and have the good sense to keep unasked-for judgments to ourselves, the issue is complex. Sometimes, our comment about a haircut or a bit of a belly is actually just a projection of our own internalized biases. So, instead of offering critiques or compliments on someone’s appearance, why not focus on other aspects of their identity? A couple of interviews with Kate Winslet point us toward a better way forward. The actress highlights that too often, we hear "You look amazing" and assume it’s about weight or something superficial. But there’s so much more we can praise each other for. Let’s start telling our friends things like: "You look so happy today" or "Your energy is radiant." For Kate, what matters is how we feel and the light we bring to the world. We can start with the people in our lives, then extend this approach to acquaintances, and maybe one day we’ll even learn to empathize with a celeb. It’s probably a bit of a utopian vision, but it’s a start.