As with the types of men that might hit you up on Instagram, what nss G-Club plans to do is a public (and necessary) service. What follows is a reasoned list that collects the types of men you'd better not go out with.
Such a detailed list could not but be the result of personal experiences and disadventures, tough and dramatic moments we've overcome just to spread the word to the next generations, that in this way will not repeat our same mistakes.
Here's the list of men we won't go out with (again), but let's not forget that we've all had our moments of weakness, so don't worry, the important thing is that it was a one-time mistake. To err is human, to persist is of the devil.
#1 Writers
He's more than 30 years old, brags depressions and has yet to publish a successful book. Even though he doesn't say it openly, he's one of those people convinced of the conceit 'First I fuck her mind, then I fuck her body', and in doing so he relies on a series of quotes by Baudelaire, Tolstoj and even Baricco, but only when he's really out of ideas. Despite the endless talks on how transcendental sex with him is, he does very little of it.
#2 Musicians
The result of all those teenage years spent in province clubs listening to unknown indie rock bands in the hope of drawing the attention of the frontman is that at almost 30 years old that trauma is not gone yet. In the attempt of getting rid of it, you've tried it all, from the indie singer to the trapper. The truth is: there will always be someone younger to hit on.
#3 Freelancers
To maintain that aura of mystery and fleetingness they never say clearly what their job is, but they still have the arrogance to text you only when Inter is not playing. 90% of them spend their days in their one-room apartment in front of the screen of the computer, with the e-mails tab always open next to one for porn. And they're not that cute either.
#4 Fuckboys
This is probably the most common, popular and lowest category you can come across. The first date will definitely go well and for a just second your cold heart will show the first cracks, further worsened by a fuck you won't forget easily. Then the ghosting: between the sheets the chemistry was clear, so what happened? He'll probably reach out to you again when he's feeling horny, explaining that he's not ready for a real commitment, that he's just ended a complicated relationship and that basically 'You're not the problem, I'm the problem'.
I've got 99 problems, but fuckboys ain't one.
#5 DJs
Behind from behind the DJ booth, everything seems bigger but as soon as the sun is up the charm will be gone.
#6 Tattoo artists
There's not a lot to say: vain, narcissistic, frustrated artists. When you open their DMs you realize they'd bone even your aunt.
#7 Jocks
They spend more time at the gym than on the toilet, but the real problem is that they document it with an unsolicited number of shirtless selfies in front of the mirror. They can't cope with a conversation that does not revolve around proteins, diets or steroids - but only when you're really intimate. If the thing gets physical you'll be blown away by his abs, hairless and softer than your inner thigh, that in one shot will make you feel fat and hairy.
#8 Artists
They spend the weekends in the museums of the city, plan day trips in search of inspiration, collect monographs of the greatest artists ever lived. They won't be someone but they don't know it yet. You'll be cool until you'll be bored, and at that point, while you're vacationing NYCnYC, you'll text them 'Hey, I'm at the MOMA, where is your work displayed? :)'
#9 Truzzo (Italian version of the Chav)
Legea tracksuits, scooter, gold chains. Sorry, I can't.
#10 Romantics
When they're romantic, you are not. When you become romantic, they dump you. Don't be fooled by bouquets of flowers or dinners by the candlelight, they will later send you mile-long texts to thank you for the time spent together while adding uncalled compliments and words of appreciation. Boring.
I realized I only want to be with David Bowie on Mars...
