Sologamy, the ceremony of marrying oneself

To love oneself. A gesture that seems instinctive, but in reality can prove quite complicated, and even comes after such a difficult journey that it deserves to be celebrated with a special ceremony, a wedding. Sologamy, or marrying yourself, is more than a trend. It has to do with self-determination, with putting your own happiness at the centre and performing a symbolic act that may seem bizarre to many, but in reality has a revolutionary twist. No one asks you any more if you have found your better half or pushy relatives who wonder why you have remained the only family member who has not settled down.

What is sologamy and how it has become popular

Although the phenomenon is relatively new in Italy, it is widespread internationally, especially in the United States, where in 1993, to celebrate her 40th birthday, a certain Linda Baker decided to marry herself as a sign of self-love. Remember the 2003 episode of Sex and the City in which Carrie, tired of being invited to other people's ceremonies, announced that she wanted to marry herself? The series had picked up on a burgeoning trend that also prompted celebrities like Emma Watson and Adriana Lima to make the same bold decision. In Japan, the practise has been around for decades and is based on an intimate philosophy that focuses on self-care and inner well-being. There is even an agency in Kyoto that offers "self-wedding" wedding packages that are in high demand, especially among women. Sologamy has taken off thanks to the 2014 book Quirkyalone: A Manifesto For Uncompromising Romantics, in which author Sasha Cagen recounts how she married herself in Buenos Aires until it became a custom at the Burning Man festival, for example, where an ambulance has been performing weddings for single people for years. Today, this practise is becoming more of a reality, so much so that, according to the Sun, there are more and more Millennial women who, fed up with Tinder and pressure from family and friends, decide to find their own soulmate.

How the ceremony of sologamy works

The sologamy marriage does not take place in a single rite. There is no precise method. It is a symbolic act with no legal significance, which anyone can refuse to perform as they see fit. One can make a promise in complete solitude, perhaps in front of a mirror, or swear eternal love in front of friends and relatives and then celebrate joyfully. The choice is personal. After all, we ourselves are the only element that counts. A love affair can also end, as in the case of Brazilian model Cris Galera, who held a ceremony with a white dress and bouquet of flowers and then ended the relationship with herself by filing for divorce.

Da trend a performace artistica

Now the concept of sologamy has arrived in Italy, thanks to the digital performance Sologamy by Elena Ketra, which says: "One must learn to love oneself in order to be able to freely love every other person. It is the affirmation of one's own affective independence, the awareness of oneself and one's abilities, one's strength and one's beauty, beyond uniforming aesthetic, social and sexual dictates. Social inclusion begins first and foremost with ourselves". The guiding principles of her art have always been women's empowerment and social inclusion. Her first works on this concept date back to 2021, a series of mirror plates depicting a stylised multi-tiered wedding cake surmounted by a female, a male and a neutral chess piece, and below them the definition of the word Sologamia, in dialogue with another mirror work Nontiscordardite. His latest performance, Sologamy, will be presented by the Solares Foundation of the Arts in collaboration with Rome's Supermartek Gallery in an international premiere at Videocittà, the festival of vision and digital culture, at Gazometro in Rome from 13 to 16 July. Here, in the Agora Expo area, those who wish to marry themselves can enter their details on a touch screen and receive a certificate signed by the artist attesting to their sologamic marriage.