More and more people are choosing polyamory

The man/woman couple exists, and we can theorize that it will exist forever or almost. The heterosexual family they can create is the foundation of society, and this is not going to change anytime soon. However, some new options timidly emerge on the horizon. An example? Polyamorous relationships. Not that it's an absolute novelty. Open couples have welcomed thirds (and fourths) into their dynamics for a long time, inside or outside the sacred bond of marriage, expanding and choosing to live as 3, 4, or 5. Now, however, this new form of couple relationship (or "trouple" or "polycule," and the Italian terminology is not yet up to date) is imposing itself in the mainstream, encompassing within a very broad concept some differentiations and specificities. U.S. society magazines talk about it, it's heard in the news. But what is it?

What does polyamory mean

By polyamory, we mean a romantic relationship that involves more than 2 people. It is polygamy when there is a formal agreement between the parties. In polyamory there are no limits to the maximum number of participants but usuall, it ranges from 3 to 5. A requirement of polyamory or ethical polygamy is that all members are aware of each other's existence and maintain continuous and non-hierarchical relationships with each other. For example, an open couple is different from polygamy if it maintains occasional and non-continuous relationships with external members. Often, polyamorous relationships are nothing more than former couples who have decided to open up and include someone else. Other times, they arise spontaneously. There are also cases where all people involved in this relationship live together, perhaps with children, who are raised by the group. This situation, clearly, is not regulated by law but is based on mutual agreements of love, affection, and assistance. There are heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual polycules, depending on the members.

A vast range of scenarios and public opinion skepticism

Trying to categorize these types of relationships - which the general public absolutely doesn't understand - is a waste of time, just as it is to classify and explain all possible scenarios. The truth is that if the couple unit breaks, we feel lost, insecure. What should we lean towards? The answer from those who have chosen polygamy is simple: towards freer relationships, based on daily mutual choice, care, and, why not, also on fun and the elimination of limits and boundaries, to never feel pressured by life as a couple again, by things like jealousy, betrayal, and possessiveness. It's not for everyone, but it's not for no one either. TikTok is full of content on this topic, with people explaining in detail their daily lives as a trio or quartet and the mechanisms of constant communication put in place to preserve the relationship. If communication is crucial in a relationship formed "only" by 2 people, it is even more so when it comes to polygamy. Otherwise, resentments and insecurities could arise that would make it collapse from within.

A sign of the times?

According to Mandy Len Catron, who wrote about it for The Guardian, this emergence of polyamorous love in the mainstream is nothing more than a sign of the times. We lead complex lives, full of pieces to connect, rubber balls to keep juggling in the air. We have to manage work, a thousand daily obligations. If other things are added to the mix, such as a pet or a child, things get even more complicated. At the same time, we are isolated. We live in small apartments, are always away from home, far from our family, everything is too expensive, making friends is difficult. The solution - or at least what some people choose, for example, in the UK - is to include more than one person in our lives, to share the weight of existence more fairly. Convenient, isn't it?

Polyamory is not a threat

As always when it comes to alternative ways of leading existence, the hairs stand up on the necks of traditionalists. Is it simply cheating? Even if all involved parties know everything? What will happen to society if people start breaking apart the couple, turning it into a polycule? Probably nothing, and probably these situations will remain in the minority. What needs to be defended, perhaps, is the freedom to choose how to organize one's own existence and relationships, to experiment, and understand what might work for us, and then, if we're wrong, to get out of situations that make us uncomfortable, with transparency and respect for all involved parties.