What is the viral Invisible String Theory on social media?

“Those two were destined to meet again” or “they are meant to be together”: these are just some of the phrases we often hear from the lips of incurable romantics, and they are increasingly gaining ground in TikTok captions and Instagram feeds. The reason? It could be the fault of the “invisible string theory”. As the name suggests, the protagonist of this theory is an invisible string that connects two people, it's the way the universe allows them to maintain a connection until the right moment arrives. According to social media users, TV series like “How I met your mother” or “Normal people” are based on this concept. It often happens, just like in a script crafted by a skillful pen, to cross paths with someone, perhaps a secondary character to whom we hadn't paid much attention, or even better, someone we had lost contact with, only to discover that they will play a fundamental role in our life and heart.

Where does the Invisible String Theory come from? The Taylor Swift phenomenon

Many clues, like pieces of a puzzle, come together and make us believe that those moments were not a coincidence; perhaps we were really meant to meet, only that we weren't ready or didn't know it. The theory of the "invisible string" originates from a belief in East Asia, known as the "red thread of destiny," which ties together lovers destined to be together. An ancient Chinese proverb also states that "an invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstances. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break." So, this phenomenon has ancient roots, think of the Moirae in ancient Greece, who wove the threads of everyone's destiny from the moment of birth; then why is it associated with something very recent? We are talking about Taylor Swift and her song "Invisible String," released in 2020 as part of the "Folklore" album. The world-renowned singer-songwriter has fully immersed herself in this theme, inviting us to reflect on hidden signals sent by the universe, through a series of evocative parallels.

Is the Invisible String Theory dangerous? The words of experts

Despite the lack of scientific foundations to define this theory, psychologist Gaia Cavalleri sheds light on the phenomenon, investigating the attitudes that activate in us when we encounter new connections: a study led by Suzanne Riela highlighted that one of the factors people consider essential for "falling in love" is feeling ready. This means being emotionally or physically prepared to seek a romantic relationship. It emphasizes the importance of the context and circumstances in which we live. Also, we shouldn't forget that we, as individuals, are constantly evolving and in constant contact with the external world, which we influence and that influences us in turn. She then underscores the importance of situational variables, a subject of investigation by Gruman, Schneider, and Coutss. These variables can make us perceive an acquaintance as a friend and even as a potential partner. However, in the early stages of falling in love, we are already inclined to idealize the other person, without having a deep knowledge of their character.

Expert Lucretia Paravia, on the other hand, emphasizes an essential premise: no one can ever understand or try to control fate or destiny, and these theories attempt to fulfill this impossibility. "In my opinion, we are in the era of control, while relational bonds are undergoing a strong decline/disadvantage. People who feel lonely try to fight loneliness by trying to find ways and solutions to have hope. A kind of 'belief,' and to achieve this, our brain takes inspiration from memories of our life. For example, forcing ourselves to believe that people, even if not significant, have necessarily left something inside us. In short, it's a way of controlling the future by drawing inspiration from the past." Paravia concludes by presenting the risks of the "invisible string theory." When we find ourselves building a relationship with someone we had already met in the past and believe in this theory, we will easily let ourselves be influenced. Therefore, we won't have a sincere view of what we like or dislike about that person; instead, we will think that fate has given us a gift. This, as Cavalleri also stated, will lead us to live a more idealized than concrete story.

The positive aspects of believing in destiny

However, other experts believe that ideas like the "Invisible String Theory" can help us feel more in tune with the important people in our lives. Jade Thomas, a psychotherapist and founder of Luxe Psychology Practice, explains that a recent study found that married couples, by recalling the past, tend to be more satisfied with their relationship and feel closer to their partner than those who do not. At the same time, Eloise Skinner, author and existential psychotherapist, believes it's important for some individuals to find models, trends, and consistencies that can actually allow them to exercise a degree of creative autonomy over their experiences. According to Skinner, seeking broader theories or explanations about destiny can allow an individual to create a personal narrative around what happens to them, which can be useful for discovering and giving meaning to certain events or identifying their purpose.

So, it's true that believing in the signals of destiny can be helpful, but the scholar still invites us to ask ourselves if we really are masters of our choices or if by trusting these trends, we are losing sight of what we truly desire. Have you ever met someone who, after a long time, turned out to be more than just a "supporting character," even though you had no suspicion that something could develop between you?

The Invisible String Theory on TikTok

The hashtag #invisiblestring boasts more than 26 thousand posts on TikTok, and the online community seems to be divided into two camps. On one side, there are those who share their love or friendship stories to support the theory, and on the other, there are those who criticize it harshly because it would lead people to seek clues where there are none, idealizing the person in front of them. Proponents of the "invisible string theory" love to tell their stories on social media: two strangers set off for the same destination, on the same flight, and on the same night, they go to the same magic show; they even take a photo near the same fountain. The two lived nearby, often walked the same path, and even participated in the same political events. They had never met until they got to know each other on a language-learning app and became husband and wife.

But to be bound by the invisible string, not only sensational stories are needed; even those who found their soulmate in someone they had already met in the past, such as at school or during a night out at the bar with friends, can have a connection chosen by the universe. What do you think, do you believe in this theory, or do you prefer to stay anchored to the reality of facts?