Why do we kiss our friends on the mouth?

"I will never understand why two friends kiss on the mouth": so begins one of the most viral videos of the moment. The creator Marta Daddato has ironically expressed her opinion on the act of kissing in friendship. Today, it is increasingly common to come across friends exchanging a kiss on Instagram feeds and TikTok's "for you page." The content uploaded by Daddato has quickly surpassed 7,000 comments, and the online community seems divided. While some comment, "I kiss all my friends on the mouth, it's super easy," others agree with the girl that kissing belongs to the intimate sphere of each of us, accessible only to a few people.

But where does this behavior come from? Psychologist Olga Armento argues that "behind the kiss, there are different psychological meanings that vary depending on historical period, generations, culture, education from different families, preconceptions, and values." Expert Teresa Capparelli adds that "the gesture of kissing is a practice with ancient roots and is aimed at our need to communicate intimacy in a non-verbal way." But if, as Capparelli emphasizes, "the act of kissing in most cultures is attributable to romantic relationships," why does Gen Z want to normalize it in friendships?

"The Kiss" according to Gen Z: Origins of the phenomenon

With Valentine's Day approaching and the preparation for buying favorite chocolates, we find ourselves facing a change in perceptions of kissing. A well-known anonymous aphorism of "Perugina kisses" says, "from friendship to love, there is the distance of a kiss," but is it still the case for many teenagers today? According to Olga Armento, "it all depends on the meaning both parties invest in the gesture." For some, a kiss between friends can be just a way to express affection, think also of famous kisses like Madonna and Britney or Aniston and Ellen DeGeneres, while for others, it could be a sign of an unidentified crush. Dr. Capparelli shares this perspective, defining kissing between friends as a way to explore intimacy and one's identity.

Is it right to normalize this behavior?

As emerges from the comments on Daddato's video, there is still no defined position on the topic. However, it is important to consider the effects if the phenomenon were to be "socially normalized." According to Armento, "let's start with what kissing on the lips stimulates psycho-cerebrally, focusing only on this, not on the sentimental and gestural meaning. Kissing stimulates the lips, a physically very sensitive area, activating many neural connections in the brain." According to Teresa Capparelli, the habit can be influenced by social pressures, media, and the search for belonging in the social group. In conclusion, in friendship and only at a young age, some may perceive kissing between friends as normal and harmless, while others may find it inappropriate. The key is consent and mutual respect in the relationship. But what about adults? Dr. Capparelli emphasizes the diversity of the issue. "The case of adult relationships is very different because we are inevitably pushed to conform to social norms that involve other forms of greeting. Kissing on the lips, in our culture, is usually confined to romantic/sentimental relationships, not to friendly, let alone familial ones. Therefore, perpetuating this habit in relationships of another nature could create confusion in emotional terms."

Is kissing a friend on the mouth right or wrong?

Today's society, in constant transformation, makes it difficult to determine whether the phenomenon should be considered right or wrong, harmful or positive, and whether it should be normalized on a large scale. The conclusion is that every physical gesture within our intimate sphere must be regulated and shared with mutual respect. And you, what do you think? Do you accept and normalize kissing between friends, or do you consider it a gesture distant from your ideals?