We must stop speculating about VIP pregnancies

Pregnancy is a delicate topic for many reasons. Choosing whether to become or not to become a mother is a central issue for any adult who has the ability to reproduce. We have been accustomed to imagining ourselves as mothers, because biologically we are bearers of life. Since childhood, we have ignored the influence of our upbringing, both Christian and patriarchal, on our bodies and minds, and now we find ourselves having to deal with it, divided between biological clock, societal pressures, and internal drives. We don't know if we should, if we want to, if we can have a child, and even if we know, the choice remains complicated and important. Bringing another creature into such a complex world is a great responsibility. Not having it could turn out to be a regret, and anyway who can endure relatives constantly asking? 

A hot topic, indeed

As if that weren't enough, the contemporary public debate adds its own contribution. Politicians of medium or dubious caliber loudly invite young women to reproduce, because otherwise the traditional family will die out. Children, however, are not protected by the government, just as young people, women, families, and young families are not. The right to abortion is fiercely fought worldwide, new laws criminalize it, conscientious objectors are the majority. Let alone if we are ready to tackle the issue of transgender men getting pregnant. We are light years away from dissociating the concept of child from the woman who carries it in her womb, from all points of view, and often motherhood turns into a prison. And who raises awareness about postpartum depression? Or about male and female infertility? We could go on for hours.

Speculations on pregnancy: Is Annalisa pregnant?

For these and other reasons, we should really stop spying on women's bellies, asking inappropriate questions to anyone with a stomach, or hypothesizing pregnancies. We must stop both as individuals and as public opinion, stop writing articles, googling, zooming. We have an example at hand, and it comes directly from the Sanremo week. Annalisa, singer competing with Sinceramente, refused to descend the stairs of the Ariston, notoriously scary for anyone wearing heels. Immediately, when it became clear that she, that cursed staircase, wouldn't do it, online gossip erupted. Several users, but also several gossip magazines, took for granted that it was because she was pregnant. What else could be the reason, for a 38-year-old married woman?

The denial: A privacy invasion issue

The voices became so insistent that Annalisa herself, during an important week for her career, had to deny them. "No, I'm not pregnant. When I am, I'll say it myself. A year ago, I fell down the stairs: I hit my head against a wall and ended up in the emergency room. It wasn't a beautiful experience... nor was it terribly bad, because it could have been worse, but I was a bit scared. I got hurt and had bangs on my forehead for quite some time to cover a nice scar." This is not the first time that the Bellissima singer has had to respond to questions that invade her privacy as a woman and as a person, and perhaps it's time to stop asking them. We, the public, know little about Annalisa. Because she values her privacy, because she wants to. Even though we see her often on television and hear her on the radio, this doesn't mean that we can assert any rights over her body, over what she decides to do with it, over what is or isn't in her womb.

The sensitivity and expectations regarding women's bodies (famous or not)

There are several web personalities who have addressed this issue. Influencer Paola Turani talked about how questions about a possible pregnancy had particularly hurt her, as she was trying in every way to become a mother but couldn't. Clio Zammatteo also said it, dedicating an entire video to this topic. We must come to terms with the fact that there are personal things that we don't know and will never know, even about famous people. We must come to terms with the fact that the personal choices of women we think we know are not public matters, to be discussed as if we were waving a piece of meat in front of sharks. Motherhood and pregnancy, these are indeed public themes. Their protection, the freedom to choose them or discard them from the options of our lives, the freedom to decide for ourselves without being stigmatized, these are indeed public themes. To be addressed without personifications, to be linked to the role of women in our society, to the expectations we have of them, to be deconstructed and reinvented.