Everything you need to know about sex therapy

There are issues that aren't easy to talk about, even with our doctor or therapist. There are things we experience only in our intimacy or in intimacy with others, in moments when we feel fragile and vulnerable, irregularities or issues we can't pinpoint the trigger for, and consequently tend to ignore, to the detriment of our well-being. We wonder what's wrong with us, but perhaps we should simply turn to a professional, namely a sex therapist, to investigate hidden motivations together. Easier said than done. To eliminate fears, let's try to address some basic notions about sexual therapy. What is it? What's its purpose? How to overcome fear and shame and embark on a journey?

What is a Sex Therapist?

When we have any kind of concern related to our sexual sphere (and we're sure it's not caused by a medical condition but by a psychological one), we should seek help from a specialized professional. A sex therapist isn't someone who deals with sexual education nor a sexual consultant, but a therapist with specific training, authorized to provide their services to the public. Sex therapists may also be trained as marriage or family therapists, the important thing is that they have a solid and consistent educational background and are specialized in sexual matters. Their role is simple: they could help us identify (and then also manage and, in the long term, resolve) underlying emotional and mental patterns that cause sexual concerns such as low desire, problems with arousal and intimacy, with inappropriate behaviors and kinks, with identifying boundaries and consent, with emotions related to gender identity and sexual orientation, and more.

What Happens During a Session of Sex Therapy?

During the process, a skilled sex therapist should provide tools, methods, techniques, and strategies that will help improve sexual well-being and untie knots. The specific focus of the journey depends on the preferred techniques of the professional you turn to and the specific issues of the patient. Sex therapists, indeed, have a varied and customizable arsenal. Usually, as a starting point, they use psychotherapy or talk therapy, thus building a dialogue relationship to establish and evaluate your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. They can then focus on emotions or mindfulness. Important: sexual therapy can be addressed as a couple or individually. Both methodologies are sensible and can be effective, but obviously, if it's couples' sexual therapy, there will be specifics related to the fact that a relationship, its codes, and its characteristics fit into the scheme of things.

How to Find the Courage to Seek a Professional for Sexual Therapy?

We're not in a Netflix series full of young people with colored hair, we're not talking about absurd things, but we are navigating complicated waters. Sex, we must admit, is a complex subject to discuss and address. Our relationship with it depends on many things: our past and our habits and education, who we have in front of us, how we feel about our body and our sexual and gender identity, how we feel about the act itself, the particular moments we may find ourselves facing, and which are so taxing from a psychological point of view that they might prevent us from experiencing pleasure in a normal and usual way. If something is preventing us from living it as serenely as possible, we deserve to solve it. For us and for our well-being, which also passes through there. Without shame and, as in the case of traditional therapy, carefully seeking out the perfect person for us, who doesn't make us feel inadequate but is ready and willing to help us without judging us.

Sex therapists don't treat physical or medical conditions. Before starting a journey, if you're unsure of what's causing your discomfort, it might be sensible to consult a doctor, gynecologist, or urologist.