Tell me who you follow on Instagram and I'll tell you who you are (and if I still want to go out with you).

The blind date is dead. And we don't mean the kind where someone sets you up with a potentially romantic partner you've never seen before. That probably only exists in '90s rom-coms. We're talking about the online search that, let's admit it, we all do before meeting our Hinge match. We put on our Sherlock Holmes hat and, armed only with a name and lots of patience, delve into the dark depths of social media, navigating through memes, posts, stories, and photos to gather as much information as possible.

Checking our match's socials: stalking or normal?

We tell ourselves we do it just to make sure we're not about to have dinner with a serial killer or someone more interested in the Tabi shoes we have in our closet than in us, but, in reality, our virtual stalking is driven by a mix of curiosity and control mania. We're so afraid of spending two disastrous hours with a stranger—between awkward silences and lists of reasons why they miss their ex's dog (but not their ex)—that we deprive ourselves of the pleasure of discovering things little by little. It's not entirely absurd. Social media exists, we use it to comment on everything, even the (almost) divorce between JLo and Ben Affleck, so why should we feel guilty for taking a modest peek to see if it's worth putting on makeup, getting dressed, and going out when we could be spending an evening with friends or lounging on the couch watching Bridgerton? Many users on TikTok think so too.

A matter of following

It's no surprise that the platform is a bottomless pit of advice, more or less sensible, on how to manage our love lives. So, it’s no shock that the latest secret to avoiding a bad date comes from there: check our match’s following list. We met on an app, decided to meet, but before one of us puts on shoes and takes the metro, it's better to carefully examine if the other’s followings are all top models or include mysterious users with revealing profile pictures, known members of racist and homophobic clubs, Al Bano fans, their mom, your ex, and a page dedicated to Charles Manson. Depending on our personality, any of these could be red flags screaming at us to cancel our date and lock ourselves away in an ashram in India, hoping Javier Bardem (or someone like him) will suddenly show up to break the chain of horror matches we've had so far.

Beware of red flags

Tell me who they follow, and I'll tell you if it could work out or at least start a love story. This is the belief of @callheroppa who, in a viral video with over 600,000 views, says, "It's a huge red flag if someone's entire following list consists of models and IG baddies because it might be a sign that your date is maintaining a list of girls they can call at any time for casual sex, or at least would like to." Many people share this view, as seen in comments like: "I made the mistake of not [checking my partner's followings] before starting my relationship and I regret it immensely." TikTokers also suggest taking note of the number of followings and followers. If we and our match have been messaging intensely for a few weeks, yet their number of followings continues to increase, especially if it increases by just one, we might need to ask ourselves if they've met someone else and are not being honest about our connection.

What if we gave ourselves a chance?

Let’s admit it: we all want a special first date like the one between Céline and Jesse in Before Sunrise (maybe without waiting 9 years to see each other again) and, hopefully, some of us will be that lucky. The rest will have to muddle through apps and dating trends. So, we can allow ourselves to gather all the information we need to feel comfortable, but let's remember that what’s posted on social media is often just a projection of how we want to appear and doesn’t fully align with who we are. To discover that, maybe, we still need to look into each other's eyes, talk, and get to know each other. One date at a time. And if it turns out to be a disaster, well, on to the next one.