Having a crush is good for your health

In high school, I had a crush on a guy a couple of years older than me. He always wore black, accessorized with chains, played the bass, and was really handsome. Every time I heard a jingling sound while sitting at my desk, I knew it was him walking down the hallway, and I felt happy and excited. I never talked to him. I would see him at school or around town. I spent my time daydreaming about what would happen if he noticed me and felt the same way. He occupied my mind, gave me a reason to wake up and go to school, to dress well, but also to read more, listen to new music, and improve myself. Trying to get his attention pushed me to be my best. That mix of hope and excitement was a boost of energy for a very shy teenager. Later, I had other crushes. Some lasted only a few minutes, others weeks, and some have never stopped making my heart flutter. Do you find it ridiculous? Maybe. But there’s certainly nothing wrong with it. In fact, science suggests that having a crush is good for your health.

What is a crush?

First, let’s establish what we mean by a crush. A crush usually refers to romantic feelings for someone that remain unexpressed. It’s a one-sided attraction towards another person, based on fantasy, devoid of any real substance, very different from love and intimacy, which are based on a real connection.

What happens to the brain when we fall in love?

Butterflies in the stomach, sweaty hands, a racing heart, and an inability to concentrate on anything or anyone other than the object of our desire. These are just some of the signs that our body reacts with when we think about or see our crush. It all starts in the brain. According to Gabija Toleikyte, a neuroscientist at the University of Sheffield, the brain is divided into three parts: the logical or “human” part, where strategies are processed; the subconscious or “reptilian” part, where instinctive and impulsive reactions reign; and the emotional or “mammalian” part, where feelings of love and physical attraction are experienced. It’s this last area that gets activated when we see our crush. Dopamine, the neurotransmitter responsible for pleasure and addiction, is released, triggering sensations of anticipation, reward, motivation, happiness, and excitement. Increased levels of oxytocin, the neurotransmitter responsible for trust and attachment, and serotonin intensify the emotional connection, euphoria, and infatuation.

Are crushes good for us?

This influx of dopamine and oxytocin induced by falling in love brings about a series of positive physiological and psychological benefits, starting with a reduced negative impact of stress. Toleikyte explains that “dopamine increases our energy levels, makes us pay more attention to our surroundings, and enhances our intellectual abilities,” but it also pushes us to find motivation, to believe that things have meaning and matter in all areas of our life, not just in love. Social psychologist Sandra Wheatley adds that “having a crush helps you flex your emotional muscles, but it also encourages you to think about what you can offer to this person,” motivating each of us to work on ourselves until we become the best version of ourselves. So, as the song goes, if we “happen to have ants in our brain and look at the city from above, light up the street with our eyes at night, and hold our breath,” everyday life becomes more exciting, and we evolve. It doesn’t matter if that crush never turns into a real relationship or if we’re idealizing someone who might only exist in our thoughts. Just being aware of it and enjoying that warmth, those positive vibes that make us feel alive, is enough. And if it’s meant to be, it will bloom.