Is talking to yourself a good thing?

"I really don't like this horoscope! Wasn't it supposed to be the year of Libra? Oh god, I can't handle another year like this. Ok, no panic. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I just need to remember to breathe." Or "I swear if the woman in line in front of me takes the last blueberry muffin, I'm going to scream. I deserve it, I've been running around since 5 a.m. My boss hates me, and compared to her, Miranda Priestley looks like Winnie the Pooh. The guy from Wednesday isn't answering. Oh my god, I really want that muffin. I need it." I talk. I talk to myself. I have long internal monologues worthy of an Oscar or a Nobel Peace Prize—my inner peace. About muffins, horoscopes, my dog, my favorite singer, last week's date, my innate ability to self-sabotage, what my life would be like if I had said yes. Sometimes, though, the words come out of my mouth, seemingly disconnected phrases for those unaware they're just fragments of my thoughts, a whirlwind of serious matters and trivialities, ideas that should stay hidden, and deep dives into why lately everyone is obsessed with pistachios. So, the woman in line gives me a weird look, and the old man behind me on the bus eavesdrops. And I, trying to blend in with the seats and furniture, suddenly find myself Googling the words "Is talking to yourself a sign of madness?".

It's normal to talk to ourselves. Even out loud

A quick search on Google will reveal that talking out loud to yourself is quite common. Hamlet, Macbeth, Gollum from The Lord of the Rings, Andre Agassi, Albert Einstein, and who knows how many others walked around engaged in passionate private monologues, having lengthy solo back-and-forths while chopping vegetables for dinner or playing tennis. The truth is, we all have soliloquies, but not all of us say them out loud. These elaborate conversations, rich with back-and-forth exchanges with our thoughts, stay with us throughout life. We start as children. It’s a trick that boosts self-confidence and belief in our abilities. As adults, it serves many other functions, including motivating us, acting as a release valve, managing anxiety, and helping us make sense of things. Even TikTok has caught on, with creators posting videos of themselves chatting away in their cars, at the supermarket, in front of the mirror, or to their phone screens. Hundreds of people are de-stigmatizing the act of muttering ideas out loud, highlighting how these sessions of one-sided conversations can be lighthearted and fun, often a true necessity with a cathartic effect, much like writing in a personal journal.

If you talk to yourself, you're not crazy; you're a genius: science says so

We need to drop the stigma because we might be wrong: people who talk to themselves aren't crazy, they're brilliant. At least, according to science. A 2012 study by psychologists Daniel Swigley and Gary Lupya, along with other research, showed that inner dialogue can help the brain work more efficiently, improving cognitive functions like focus and visual processing. Not to mention the numerous studies supporting that speaking encouraging words to oneself out loud is key to enhancing performance in a wide range of sports and reaching set goals.

The benefits of talking to yourself

Still not convinced? Are you embarrassed at the thought of being caught talking to yourself? Maybe a recap of all the benefits of this activity, which many consider odd, will convince you that it’s actually a strategy for self-care, calming down, focusing, managing small or big problems, gaining more confidence, and feeling less anxious. Here's why talking to yourself can be beneficial:

• Helps organize thoughts and understand complex concepts: listing pros and cons helps us untangle messy thoughts, making them clearer until we reach a solution.
• Helps stay focused and stimulates memory: visualizing a situation, a problem, or a goal allows us to examine it from all angles, to lock it in our memory, and to manage it one part at a time.
• Can boost self-esteem: when we compliment and encourage ourselves, we can get that extra boost of confidence we need to overcome an obstacle or achieve a goal despite difficulties. Experts suggest using second or third person to create psychological distance from the situation.
• Helps manage negative emotions: expressing what we feel out loud is a way to release anger, tension, and nervousness. This helps us regain control over our emotions, manage anxiety, and act less impulsively. The key is to avoid negative self-talk that fills us with pessimism, guilt, and insecurities.