Why do we like Uomini e Donne so much?

In high school, I used to commute by bus, so I would return home in the early afternoon. I would have lunch while watching Uomini e Donne and later, I would even comment on it on Twitter. I followed the season's stars on Instagram, spying on their behavior outside the show. The program, where ambitious young people try to win over the lead in hopes of finding love or, more often, to build a social empire and become content creators, awakened strange instincts in me, including, I admit, disgust, which nonetheless didn't stop me from watching. The solution? Moving into a house without a TV and not missing it at all.

Uomini e Donne Appeals to Our Curiosity

The formula is brutal, and that's exactly why it works. Men and women, typically attractive or at least well-groomed and "camera-ready," go through a series of on-camera dates, trying their luck until they "fall in love." As if that weren't enough, they're then forced to rewatch their key moments in front of the other suitors and explain or even justify their actions. They cannot see eachother outside of the show. How could it not work? We're human, we love to gossip, talk about couples and cheating, see it all and judge everything, laugh and suffer along with the heartbroken women. We love to feel connected to people we don't know just because they exist on our screens, to watch them argue fiercely, to grow attached. Long before the influencer economy, Uomini e Donne tapped into our intrinsic, unconscious curiosity and monetized it.

Anti-Southern Bias, Misogyny, and Parasocial Relationships

In doing so, it has stirred up our worst instincts. Just like with C'è posta per te, we find ourselves hoping that the season's stars come from southern Italy, because they're more dramatic and entertaining, because they make grammatical mistakes, because they're "more uncouth." Just like with Temptation Island, we become so engrossed in the program's dynamics, in discussing them with friends or on social media, that we don't realize how often they are toxic, that the standards for male and female leads differ, that the anger and irritation these unknown people stir in us may be avoidable feelings we shouldn't indulge in. Yet, we convince ourselves we know the participants and write comments online that we wouldn't even think of saying to our best friend when she gives her untrustworthy boyfriend a fourth chance.

Regaining Distance

It's fine to get distracted, it's fine to relax. Doing so with a TV show that makes no cultural claims is certainly not a crime. However, we must ask ourselves: are we able to maintain distance? And if we can, can other viewers? Do we realize that many of these dynamics are fake, carefully crafted to introduce specific characters to the audience, and that if love happens, it's just by chance? Can we recognize the social responsibilities of a program that airs every day in the early afternoon, that fascinates and polarizes, sparks conversation, and often acts as a window into the world, reflecting and bringing it into our homes, influencing us? If the answer is yes, then all the better. Otherwise, it might be advisable to take a step back.