How to deal with toxic competition at the university

"I found the worst red flag in university": so begins the video of Giulia Saponieri, a girl who likes to bring content related to the university world to social media. On TikTok, Giulia tells about a confession she received from a follower: "I didn't think this kind of people could exist. Some of you pointed out that some students mark the first name, last name, and freshman number of others on an Excel sheet, to figure out how much they got on the exam." Many users react with outrage in the comments section: "Upset. Guys, the university is an individual path, everyone is on their path! Who cares about other people's grades? Ugh.” Competitiveness is a factor that has always been with us in all spheres. From school, to the sports we played as children in the afternoon, to the different personal and social spheres we reach in adulthood. It can also become an ally that helps us improve ourselves, spurring us on to become the best version of ourselves. Still, it takes on a completely different guise when we move from healthy competitiveness to toxic competitiveness.

Why is it so important for us to compare our own academic journey with that of others?

Psychologist Sara Cutrale explains that toxic competitiveness is a behavior that harms both those who engage in it and those around them. Competition is no longer seen as an opportunity to improve or grow, but as a constant confrontation with others in which 'winning' becomes the only goal. Whereas our parents, grandparents and the people before them were still able to use competition as a non-harmful but positive incentive to improve themselves, today this is reinforced by social and cultural pressure that pushes towards an external and superficial idea of success, which often also makes it harmful and sometimes even dangerous. This is because we now live in an age where appearance and immediate results are prioritized, often at the expense of personal well-being. Social media, for example, reinforces the need for comparison and recognition by constantly exposing people to comparisons with unrealistic or idealized standards. This phenomenon has well-founded roots in psychology; in fact, Cutrale refers to Ryan and Deci's self-determination theory, which has been used precisely to examine the motives behind competitive behavior. According to this theory, toxic competition can result from not fulfilling the needs for autonomy, competence and positive relationships. Another theory that addresses such behavior is Leon Festinger's theory of social comparison, according to which people have an innate need to evaluate their abilities and success by comparing themselves with others. This mechanism allows us to gain information about ourselves and our position in the group, not only in terms of successes but also in terms of limitations and opportunities for growth.

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Why do young people feel they are competing with their peers?

"From a psychological perspective, toxic competitiveness can be triggered and fuelled by personal insecurities, the need for external validation or the fear of failure. This leads to the person behaving aggressively, manipulatively or hostile and trying to assert themselves against others at all costs" says Cutrale. "Thus, competition becomes a matter of personal worth and the success of others is perceived as a threat. This is the reason why young people today are constantly in competition with each other, partly because they experience every achievement of others through society and never instead of failures. In this way, their brains are convinced that others do not fail, but are only satisfied. Instead, those who suffer failure and see the signs of it on their skin consider themselves worse than others and feel the need to improve and better themselves, not for themselves, but to compare themselves with the outside world. Thus, young people are always willing to achieve the same or even a higher level of performance than others, especially as peers (be it in studies, work or even personal lifestyle), be it for pure intrinsic satisfaction or to show off their achievements on social media and feel satisfaction when thinking about what others think of their achievements, or in other cases to please their parents. The latter are one of the main factors behind the rise of toxic competition in today's youth. In fact, parents of recent generations are the first to compare young people with each other and demand that their children reach the level of others. Therefore, young people grow up thinking that they have to be better than others in all or almost all areas of their lives. I believe that the main culprits for the rise of this phenomenon are first and foremost social media, for the reasons mentioned above, and right after that the adults and parents who surround many of these children. But not all adults and not all parents, of course".

How psychologist explains competitive student behavior

What about the case we explored earlier? "The obsession with monitoring one's college colleagues' freshmen to compare their results with one's own can turn into a destructive cycle. Not only does this behavior undermine self-esteem, but it also distorts the perception of one's abilities, shifting the focus from individual progress to constant external comparison", Sara Cutrale tells us. "In this way, personal worth and success are measured solely by what others do, rather than on one's improvements and goals. In the long run, this toxic competitiveness can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety and frustration, especially when one focuses only on those aspects in which others seem to excel. In addition, it can damage interpersonal relationships, as ongoing rivalry fuels tension, envy and hostility toward colleagues, reducing collaboration and creating a negative work or study environment". Comparing one's academic record with that of others can thus conceal several psychological and social reasons, one of which is the need for social validation. Another motivation that may lie behind this behavior is the desire to excel. We live in a society where competition is often encouraged, especially in academia. However, as we have seen, this comparison can also become toxic if it leads to feelings of envy or inadequacy.

What can we do to improve the situation?

If you are asking yourself "What can I do to change things?" whether as a victim or a perpetrator, it would be necessary to act on multiple levels, fostering an environment that values individual growth and collaboration. First and foremost, says Cutrale, it would be crucial to learn the value of working on oneself. One should cultivate self-awareness, recognizing one's competitive behaviors and the reasons behind them; in addition, it may be helpful to reflect on how confrontation with others negatively affects one's self-esteem and self-perception. One should also focus on one's progress, and not on the progress of others. On the other hand, intervention and help from institutions would do a lot to create an environment that reduces toxic competition and promotes collaboration and well-being, starting with educational institutions and also in work environments, which could foster a culture based on mutual support and cooperation, perhaps encouraging teamwork, also giving rewards for collaboration and peer mentoring, which are all activities that can push people to see colleagues as resources and not rivals. Another kind of support that public institutions could give, relates to psychological support services that can help people better manage competitive dynamics. To conclude, improving the situation requires work on two fronts: on the one hand, an individual commitment to managing one's emotions and competitive behaviors, and on the other hand, a change at the institutional level to create environments that encourage personal growth, well-being, and collaboration, reducing unhealthy competition. This integrated approach could help build a healthier and more productive environment, both for the individual and the community, thus going a long way toward avoiding the toxic evolution of competitiveness.