Is ghosting always wrong?

Have you ever been on a dating app, or simply participated in the three-ring circus that is dating? Regardless of whether you're a man or a woman, attracted to men or women, you've probably experienced ghosting. It has happened to me, both on Tinder and off. I’ve ghosted and been ghosted, whether after an app conversation or an actual date. Sometimes it hurt, and other times, leaving a conversation without explanation made me feel safe from behaviors I found strange, unsettling, or uncomfortable. Increasingly, people talk about the ethics of ghosting. Is it right or wrong? Are there situations where it's acceptable? Let’s discuss.

Ghosting: Meaning and the Male Perspective

First, let’s differentiate. When discussing ghosting experienced by men, we cannot ignore the contemporary climate of increasing male radicalization. Some fear that ghosting—leaving a conversation without explanation—might make men even more angry or hostile, pushing them toward incel ideologies. Should we handle them with care and be as kind as possible? Perhaps. Yet, many men, despite their outcry against ghosting, engage in it themselves. Whether due to distraction, lack of interest, emotional detachment, or attraction to someone else, they do it. This brings us, in this context of analyzing ghosting between men and women amidst a broader "gender war," to women.

Do Women Get Ghosted Too?

Despite claims to the contrary, women also experience ghosting. I've been ghosted more times than I care to count, even by people I went out with more than a couple of times. How do women react to ghosting? Mostly, they grin and bear it. It’s no secret that the radicalization of women into extremist groups on social networks is less prevalent and less scrutinized than men’s. Why do women ghost? For the same reasons as men, plus a few unique ones: sometimes to protect themselves, to avoid discomfort, or when they feel the man they’re metaphorically facing is overstepping boundaries, misunderstanding their intentions, or not deserving of an explanation. Is that so wrong?

A Double Standard Once Again

The general consensus seems to be this: women must tread carefully because ghosting might deeply harm men’s mental health. Meanwhile, men will be men—what can we do? The double standard is glaring. Who cares about the emotional well-being of ghosted women? Denying its existence achieves nothing. While ghosting can sometimes be an understandable response, it’s also, in some cases, an example of shirking responsibility toward another human being. Yet, perhaps women shouldn’t always bear the burden of managing men’s emotional and relational well-being, especially when it comes to strangers on dating apps.

When Ghosting Is Acceptable and Mutual Responsibility

What’s the takeaway? It’s multifaceted. While there are situations where ghosting isn’t a big deal, and clear differences in treatment depending on whether men or women are involved, this doesn’t absolve us of responsibilities toward others. Acknowledging these differences—the tendency to prioritize fragile male mental health over female resilience—the ultimate truth remains that we should be kind and empathetic, both to ourselves and others. Offering explanations, when appropriate, is not only fair but advisable.