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We are in a “relationship recession”
The situation is genuinely really bad
January 16th, 2025
Relationships and dating have never experienced a crisis like the one in recent years. This is not just a sentiment perceived on social media; hard data now shows a clear global decline in birth rates. Recently, the Financial Times published a report on the global data surrounding the “relationship recession”, indicating that the decline in births is not due to families intentionally limiting their size, but for the first time in history, there simply aren’t enough couples ready to reproduce. As highlighted in the report, the fundamental “problem” is the consistent increase in the number of single people, described by the FT as a «fundamental shift in the nature of modern society». This is a sentiment that, until recent years, seemed exclusive to the West, but has now permeated the entire globe. Take, for instance, the Korean 4B movement, which began to gain traction in the United States following Trump’s election. At the same time, not everyone chooses to remain single for ethical reasons; in fact, most people don’t choose to be single at all. While in the mid-2010s dating apps managed to help people meet, fall in love, and get married, post-pandemic, they have become obsolete tools that have left users – especially Gen Z – «emotionally, mentally, and physically drained», according to Forbes. The consequences have also been felt economically: by the end of 2024, Match Group’s market value had dropped to about $8 billion, just a fifth of what it was three years prior. Tinder, its flagship brand, reported its eighth consecutive quarter of decline in paying users on a year-over-year basis. So, the question remains: why can’t we form relationships anymore?
I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but I’m 23 and have never been in a relationship. I’ve never even been asked on a date.
— Becca Brubaker (@itsmebecca) February 15, 2020
For so many years, this has made me feel absolutely horrible about myself. But I’m learning I’m not the only one, and I want you to know that too.
It’s true that the rise of dating apps was in itself the first warning sign of the dating crisis: with online matching, it has become increasingly difficult, almost utopian, to imagine finding “the perfect person” in real life. As highlighted by the Guardian last November, leaving dating apps behind doesn’t seem to solve the issue: the so-called “real-life dating” is also struggling. Between the widespread habit of keeping one’s eyes glued to smartphones and heightened caution post #MeToo, many men avoid approaching women for fear of being perceived as inappropriate or intrusive, further reducing the chances of offline encounters. Last year, after the summer of 2024, running clubs became the focal point of the dating shift, particularly on TikTok, where thousands of users shared their stories about this new frontier of relationships. However, the hype didn’t last long, and FYP pages quickly returned to being filled with Gen Z users lamenting the current state of relationships. For this reason, more and more people are not only abandoning apps but dating altogether: according to the Pew Research Center, nearly 60% of single Americans are not interested in pursuing any relationship. Unsurprisingly, Gen Z has become known as the least sexually active generation in history.
In Japan, the situation is so critical that the government is doing everything possible to encourage citizens to marry and have children, from reducing the workweek to creating an official dating app for Tokyo. Professor Hiroshi Yoshida stated last week that, according to his research, in just over 500 years – if birth rates remain unchanged – the Japanese population will face extinction. Yoshida attributes the primary cause to the ongoing economic recession. Still, as reported by the Japan Times, the issue is more complex and tied to a certain predisposition of younger generations to porn addiction (among both men and women). Tokyo, in fact, is transforming into a global “red-light” destination, fueling stereotypes of Japanese women as submissive and sexually permissive. Services like fūzoku, which circumvent prostitution laws (prohibited only for penetration), allow other types of activities, such as fetish clinics or themed bars. This sector generates an annual revenue estimated between $13 and $40 billion. Phenomena like oshikatsu (“support activities”) and men chika idols (underground male idols) further distort relationships. In the case of oshikatsu, young women spend significant sums on merchandise or events to support their male idols, while in mencon cafes – venues similar to maid cafes but featuring male entertainers – customers pay for attention and affection. In some cases, the accumulated debts push women into the sex industry to cover their expenses: in 2024, over 40% of women arrested for prostitution in Tokyo stated that they did so to repay debts tied to host clubs or similar activities.
The exponential growth of "singledom", ranging from the decline of dating apps to the rise of new parasexual and commodified models, leads to a broader reflection: a world where singlehood is increasing is not necessarily better or worse than one populated by couples and families, but it is undoubtedly different from anything we’ve known before, with profound social, economic, and political implications. However, it is difficult to ignore that this crisis seems to produce no tangible positive effects. The Financial Times highlights that relationships are not only becoming less common but increasingly fragile: in Finland today, a couple moving in together is more likely to separate than to have a child, a sharp reversal of historical trends. The data shows that this shift is more profound than a simple cultural preference: we are facing a structural change that is altering how people live and perceive relationships. The dilemma remains: is this truly what people want, or is it a system that makes stable relationships increasingly difficult to build and maintain? Suppose many people do not choose to remain single. In that case, we must ask ourselves what needs to change – culturally and economically – for couplehood to become a practical and attractive option again, rather than merely a nostalgic ideal from Hollywood rom-coms. Otherwise, there may be no need to worry about climate change; humanity may simply dissipate on its own.