We have no idea how a 30-year-old woman should look like

Houston, we have a problem. Actually, more than one, especially with aging. And even more so with what an adult woman should or could look like. The issue, to sum it up, is that we don't know what that looks like anymore, as we've lost touch with the real texture of skin, with an unfiltered face, natural lighting without ring lights or effects. In short, we've lost touch with reality. This becomes evident when we stop talking to and about very young women and start engaging with young adults—those infamous thirty-somethings (and the like).

You know those moments when a young woman appears on TikTok—perhaps sharing makeup tips or snippets of her day—and casually mentions her age? If it's anything over 25 and between 26 and 34, there's a high chance that the comments will zero in on it. Reactions range from "Oh my god, you look so young, you don't look your age at all! I hope I look like you when I'm old," to "You actually look 58, use sunscreen, girl!" Basically, we don't know how to respond, risking offense, confusion, or touching on a sensitive topic for the person in front of us. Why does this happen?

Being 30 on Social Media

Take it from someone who turned 30 two months ago. Being 30 is pretty much like being 27, which is pretty much like being 25. In life, unfortunately or fortunately, not much changes. Maybe it's because it's increasingly difficult to achieve financial independence, start a family, or build a career. Maybe it's because society is moving forward and so are the average ages for reaching traditional milestones of adulthood. Maybe it's because we all stay young and attractive to uncanny limits. Or maybe it's because the divide between adults, young people, and teenagers (even minors) on social media no longer exists, and everyone talks to everyone. And that's not necessarily a good thing. The boundaries blur, and an 18- or 20-year-old might believe that being 30 means being old ladies with wrinkles, gray hair, and ankle-length skirts. Conversely, a 30-something might convince herself she has to look 18 forever. Cue treatments, cosmetic surgery, filters—and disconnection. It's a vicious cycle, a negative loop.

Aging by Beauty Industry Standards

It's nothing new. Aging isn't allowed, and showing your humanity (and bare face!) isn't either—not after 25. Falling into this cycle only makes it more restrictive, playing right into its hands. If we don't show our imperfections, girls will think that appearing flawless, even while "aging," is the only acceptable path, the only way to "age," the only way to exist as women who are no longer girls—on social media and beyond. While skincare and self-care are undoubtedly great and important, capable of yielding fantastic results, what they absolutely can't do is win a race against time, which is relentless, indifferent to our insecurities, and leaves its mark as it pleases. So why not run alongside it, look around, notice imperfections, and stop expecting smooth, flawless faces from everyone? Let's be the thirty-somethings we can and want to be, realistically. Once in a while, at least.