The true meaning of an absurd morning routine

On Twitter, it doesn’t take much to have fun. The social network acquired by Elon Musk—now a favorite platform for the incel community and far-right circles—has become a melting pot of all the absurd things shared on other social media, giving them relevance and sparking discussions that last for days, blurring the line between serious and ironic (and completely incomprehensible to anyone who isn't chronically online). So, the ridiculously long morning routine of a fitness coach has ignited debates and reflections. What’s the real point of rubbing a banana peel on your face? Or dunking your head in a bowl of water and ice?

Ashton Hall's Morning Routine

Ashton Hall is an online fitness coach and influencer who frequently shares workout videos, wellness habits, and tips on making money and believing in God—basically, the full manosphere package. Thanks to his unconventional lifestyle (and sculpted physique), he has amassed nearly 5 million followers on TikTok. In his latest viral video, he reveals how his morning starts at 3:52 AM and stretches on for hours, practically until 9 AM. His routine includes a pool dive, balcony push-ups, two minutes of meditation, ten minutes of journaling, and countless other steps.

Women’s Role and the Saratoga Water Meme

Two major takeaways from this video stand out—aside from the fact that most of its supposed benefits are unfounded, but we've covered that already. The first and most significant is the role of women in his content. As he gets dressed for his "work" day, whether he's at his computer or in front of a podcast mic, it's always anonymous, faceless women who serve him food and massive bowls of ice water—often bowing after they do. It’s as if this elaborate routine couldn’t exist without uniformed, paid female servants, working in the kitchen while he does push-ups in his mansion. It’s a striking symbol of the social and cultural resurgence of macho ideology, toxic masculinity, and the archaic idea of the faceless wife as a cook and maid, always present but never seen. Another internet obsession? The Saratoga water—the fancy, easily recognizable blue bottled sparkling water that Ashton Hall seems to use for everything. A premium, expensive, and exclusive touch, the cherry on top of this borderline nauseating display of wealth.

Wealth Symbols and a Lesson in Virality

At the end of the day, can we really believe that this man spends six hours of his day doing all these random things? And even worse, that they somehow provide any real mental and physical benefits? Are we that gullible? These videos are nothing but a continuous display of exaggerated wealth and superhero-style masculinity. Sure, we can all agree that working out and staying hydrated are good habits (but did we really need Ashton Hall to tell us that?). Looking closely, it’s clear that these videos are nothing more than a performance of masculinity and virality—where absurdity fuels comments and shares. They cater to the male gaze and the aspirational dreams of disillusioned men who see in this muscle-bound figure—a man with a mansion, paid female attendants, and endless free time—the ultimate fantasy of manhood, in its most fake, plastic, and cartoonish form.